News for Youth Success-August 2025 | Is Cohabitation a Good Way to Prepare for Marriage
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This month we feature Part 1 of Is Cohabitation a Good Way to Prepare for Marriage?. Also, don't miss the job posting for an Urban Life Training School Leader in Jefferson County, WV.
Is Cohabitation a Good Way to Prepare for Marriage?
An estimated 70% of couples today will cohabit before marrying. Is this a good idea? As pointed out in an article by Brad Wilcox and Alysse ElHage, Taylor Swift and her boyfriend Joe Alwyn broke up after six years of living together. Living together before marriage does not help you odds of having a successful marriage. In fact, it hurts your odds of having a successful marriage.
Fifty percent of white evangelicals believe that cohabitation is morally acceptable if a couple plans to marry, according to Pew research! A lot of people think that you should 'try before you buy'. People who would consider themselves 'well educated' still think that they should cohabet before marriage. In fact, jointly committed love is the foundation for a good marriage, and for many cohabiting couples, this is lacking. Cohabiting increases your chance of divorce from 20% to 25%. There is very little taboo now about living with someone before marriage and practicing sex outside of marriage. And that really is a shame.
Pastors, parents and schools should emphasize that cohabiting is a bad idea, and that it does not work toward buiding a stable marriage. Steve Harvey, the radio and television personality has had three marriages. But what is he telling his own daughters? He is telling them to get married first, based on his own experiences in cohabiting. Maybe Taylor Swift will give her own daughters and sons the same advice in the future; get married first before having sex, we hope.
Let's now look at a more internal perspective on why not to have sex before marriage. In this show (The Richard Urban Show) we emphasize the Unification Principle point of view. Paramount is that we follow God's plan for marriage. Anyone who created themselves, please raise your hand! You were 'created' by your parents, but really, you are created by God, working through the sexual union of your parents. In Genesis 1:28, we are told to 'be fruitful, multiply and have dominion over creation'. To be fruitful means to unite your mind and body, centered on God to become a perfected individual. In light of this direction from God, at the sister site to Urban Life Training, UnionStation.love the motto is "Be the one to find the one".
The current environment of dating sites has allowed psychopathic men to take advantage of women, who are the biggest losers in this culture of hook-up. God's first blessing is individual perfection, and sexual abstinence before marriage is a big part of that. The second blessing is family perfection; a God-centered family consisting of a God-centered husband, wife and children. In the Unification Principle this is called the four-position foundation. A family or society that has formed the four-position foundation in line with God's ideal is patterned after the image of a perfect individual. It this becomes the substantial object partner to the individual who lives in oneness with God, and consequently, it also becomes the substantial object partner to God.
The third blessing is the perfection of a human being's dominion over the natural world; to fulfill this blessing, human beings and the natural world should become completely one, thereby establishing a God-centered four-position foundation of dominion. By fulfilling the three great blessings, we return joy to God.
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We will continue part 2 of Is Cohabitation a Good Way to Prepare for Marriage? in next month's Urban Life Training newsletter.
Stop the Decimation of Our Youth, Part 1
All kinds of corruption in our society stem from the fall of man and from sexual corruption, which is related to the fall of man.
Basically, all kinds of corruption stem from that and all kinds of decline stem from the decline of the family, the male, female, biological family of a married husband and wife and children, which now only 40% of youth are born within a married family. At our website, visionroot.org, you can study the Unification Principle.
But that doesn't tell the whole story because the numbers are much higher: 68% in the black community and higher also in the Hispanic community. So that really needs to be dwelt on, and you don't really hear about that. In fact, you even hear the opposite. An example is that Elon Musk had 13 or 14 children from four different women.
I know he was married before and had six children, but nonetheless, that's hardly an ideal situation. We need to guide our youth to abstain before marriage. So let's look at a couple of articles to get some facts on this issue here. We have an article by Stephanie Mann of SafeKidsNow.com on her website, Let's Expose the Jackass Generation.
What she's saying is that the Z generation often has a lack of understanding.
Here are some quotes from Stephanie Mann’s excellent article:
We have the jackass generation, which split away from mainstream Americans. These people with inflated egos blame others, have all the answers and don't listen to other points of view.
Younger people lack a conscience as they loot, steal and shoot other people and commit criminal acts of violence against anyone who happens to be in their way. The jackass generation includes politicians and leaders who reject consequences for evil behavior. We need to start a media conversation on how to strengthen and support American families and neighbors with limited involvement of the police. Community responsibility for neighborhood safety can dramatically reduce crime, drugs, and violence and build trust as neighbors work together to keep families and children safe. Neighborhood involvement exposes crime, agency and police corruption. We, the people need to stop assuming that politicians and taxpayers money can save us in a democracy involves citizens create positive change in our communities.
The limited job of politicians is to write and pass laws as they spend taxpayers’ money, which often leads to corruption. “Integrity, transparency in the fight against corruption have to be part of the culture. They have to be thought of as fundamental values”. Angel Gurria. OECD, Secretary General, Transparency International.
Bureaucrats seek to divide and control people's behavior. They use “woke” intimidation to reduce freedom of speech and downplay the role of religion because people of faith don't trust big government. When we trust our higher power, we can discover our inner ability to find solutions. That was the success of the greatest generation during World War II.
Two, the jackass generation is wagging the donkey. The question is, what are we the people willing to do to stop power hungry politicians from assuming control over freedom-loving Americans?
Read the full article here.
Here are several quotes from Marriage Isn't Just a Piece of Paper.
Even as the American marriage rate has steadily declined, the cohabitation rate has steadily grown. According to 2019 Pew research study, more Americans have cohabited at some point than have married.
15 times more couples lived together outside marriage today than in 1960. In truth, cohabitation is a disastrous way to form a household ion x Pro-life Author Lila Rose highlights the facts about shacking up. According to research, couples who cohabitate before marriage are 48% more likely to divorce.
Cohabitation doesn't set you up for success. It undermines the success of your marriage. So, for those who are dating and in a relationship, build a strong foundation by growing together spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally. If this is the person God is calling you to marry, make the commitment first, get married, then build your home together.
Brad Wilcox is with the Institute for Family Studies. He reaffirmed that. He says, my students, who are at the University of Virginia, think cohabitation is a great way to prepare for marriage. But cohabitation is actually linked to marital failure. A Stanford study found that cohabiting with an extra partner boosted women's odds of divorce by three times.
Cohabitation fails to prepare people for marriage because it's fundamentally unlike marriage. As Wilcox explained, cohabitation caused partners to adopt a less committed view of marriage, and this low commitment mentality makes them more vulnerable to marital dissolution.
Read the full article here.
When times get tough with our youth, being decimated by all kinds of indoctrination, throughout society and especially in public schools, is incumbent upon us as responsible citizens, parents, and people who care that we stop this decimation.
The decimation is because of the attack on the fundamental institution of the family. That means a man and a woman and children. The fact that the definition of what a family is would even be in question is basically insane.
Is a family two men or two women living together? No, I don't think so. That's not the way that God created the family. So what can we do about this? I'm into practical solutions and in 2003, my wife and I founded Urban Life Training. The full name is Urban Life Training & Reality Assessment Teen Choice. Or Ultra Teen Choice, which we call Urban Life Training for short.
Urban Life Training is a program to help you succeed. The program helps youth by helping them be role models, who teach about the importance of developing good character and abstaining from sex before marriage to the younger students. It's basically a no-brainer. And we've had great success, working in about a dozen different elementary, middle and high schools in Washington DC and nearby areas.
Stop the Decimation of Our Youth-Part 2
Here you can find out about the Urban Life Training Program. Read below for Part 1, featured in the June Urban Life Training Enews.
We highly encourage you to form a Chapter of Urban Life Training in your local area. Apply to be a Chapter here.
This is the formula for how we are helping youth and stopping them from being decimated. We have to teach them the importance of the "success formula". The success formula is to:
1) Graduate from High School
2) Wait until age 21 and married before having children.
3) Get a full time job
Note: I would add, if you want to be a stay at hom mom, and your husband is employed, that definitely counts, too!
But many schools are facilitating gender indoctrination, where, according to YRBSS(Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System), 38 percent of high school girls identify as gay or lesbian, bisexual or other/questioning! This is the biggest crisis in society. Other things that are political are constantly going on, especially around corruption centering on misuse of funds. The real action centers on the family issue.
For instance, why aren't many men working? There are many related issues, but arguably the biggest one is that if you don't grow up with a mom and dad setting an example, you get off on to other paths of life.
As we mentioned in Part 1 of this article, most youth don't know that if they want to be successful in life and relationships, they should not be cohabiting, and they don't know about the success formula. By forming an Urban Life Training Chapter in your local area you can give out the message to youth that they must have. It is a type of child abuse to not give youth this type of life-saving information. People with other agendas are coming in, such as in Montgomery County, Md, but also many other places, and literally giving Kindergarten students transgender indoctrination. Let's help all of our youth be successful!
Form a Chapter of Urban Life Training in your local community, and you can provide these services for schools that want them.
A sister site to Urban Life Training is UnionStation.love, a place where verified members who are staying abstinent or have returned to sexual abstinence before marriage are there. If you want to try a different approach, check out UnionStation.love.
Urban Life Training provides a successful and proven approach to guiding youth toward a successful life through abstaining from sex before marriage. In 1000 plus school districts, children can tell someone at school, such as the counselor, that they think they are something other than their actual gender, and that counselor will not tell you, as a parent.
Stop the Decimation of Our Youth
Watch the Richard Urban Show Podcast of Stop the Decimation of Our Youth
Listen to the Richard Urban Show Podcast of Stop the Decimation of Our Youth
Employment Opportunities at Urban Life Training
Urban Life Training is seeking qualified candidates for the part-time position of School Leader in Jefferson County, West Virginia:
School Leader
Roles of the School Leader:
School Relationship Intelligence Lecturer
Work part-time, one day to several days a week, about 6 hours per day per school
Duration of the work will be from four weeks total up, i.e., if there is one school, work one day per week at that school for four consecutive weeks.
Responsibilities
- Give directive relationship intelligence, abstinence-centered education to 7th to 12th grade youth in a school environment in person or possibly online, for a virtual school environment.
- Keep a record of the location and number of students receiving the presentations
- Maintain excellent relationships with teachers and school personnel
School Club Leader
Work one day to several days per week throughout the school year (about 36 weeks), about three hours per day, assuming one club meeting in one day, with clubs meeting once per week (total of 3 hours per week for one school.
- Prepare materials for weekly club meetings using the Urban Life Training Club manual or other materials
- Lead weekly club meetings (usually at lunch time) at one or more middle or high schools
- Send periodic reports to the Urban Life Training Chapter Director on club attendance and activities.
- Maintain excellent relationships with school personnel
Training will be held prior to the commencement of work. Work is expected to commence in late September to October 2025.
Starting pay for qualified applicants is $18/hr.
To receive more information and to apply, contact Urban Life Training.
Urban Life Training website
UnionStation.love website
Harpers Ferry, WV
202-544-5081
Form a Chapter of Urban Life Training
Are you telling your children to abstain from sex before marriage? Abstinence before marriage is the most crucial part of the success formula for your child's life.
Gain access to videos, testimonies, slide presentations, a Celebration of Purity script and much more by joining Urban Life Training
UnionStation.love
Find your eternal match.
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Harpers Ferry, WV 25425
USA
New Urban Life Training Chapter Launched in Jefferson County, WV
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Urban Life Training is happy to announce the formation and chartering of a new Chapter in Jefferson County WV.
Congratulations to Tamara Thompson, the Chapter Director.
Tamara Thompson is a public affairs coordinator, political advocate, & community relations facilitator. Her primary focus is based on the essential obligation to advance our efficacious relationship with God. Establishing an unwavering connection with the divine nourishes our souls, minds, and bodies. We become pertinacious within our moralistic boundaries. We stand resolute, & confident within our faith. She displays a passion for encouraging, and guiding others by referencing her own lessons and experiences. After many trials, her soul demanded she walk God’s path. She’s a Firm believer that children are sacred with a natural instinct to evolve and advance their personal relationship with God. Sadly so many facets of society are designed to cause adverse consequences with misleading, grooming, and desensitizing our youth. These tactics include objectification and degradation. It’s our responsibility as parents, teachers, neighbors, friends, and community members to support and reinforce our youths self assuredness and worth. We must encourage their innate moral principles over the self deprecating pressures of societal indoctrination.
She has dedicated a large portion of her life to early childhood education and volunteering within her local educational institutions. She has witnessed the negative impacts of demoralizing our youth, whether intentionally or inadvertently, by normalizing overt sexuality. In order to tip the scales for a better tomorrow, she believes we must encourage self awareness, love, and spiritual growth.
Urban Life Training looks forward to working with Tamra to assure a brighter future for youth and young adults in Jefferson County and beyond.
#195-Supreme Court Passes on Defending First Amendment Rights
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The not so Supreme Court, on May 27, 2025, could not say that a middle school student in Massachusetts has a right to wear a shirt that says that there are only two genders. The not so Supreme Court could also not weigh in on whether parents at sports events have the same right to have an XX for the female gender on their hat or shirt. Really?!
#194-What is the Solution to Declining Fertility Rates?
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Fertility rates have plummeted up to 55% in the last 35 years in developed countries.
What is behind this steep decline?
What is the solution?
In the show:
#193-Is Cohabitation a Good Way to Prepare for Marriage?
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- Category: Richard's Blog
An estimated 70% of couples today will cohabit before marrying. Is this a good idea?
Watch the show to find out.
In today's show:
https://www.deseret.com/2023/4/26/23697625/cohabitation-happy-marriage-living-together-taylor-swift/
https://inspiration.visionroot.org/the-principle-of-creation/
https://inspiration.visionroot.org/the-human-fall/
#192-Stop the Decimation of Our Youth
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- Category: Richard's Blog
Our youth are being decimated by the propagation of destructive lifestyles, and specifically, gender indoctrination, at every turn.
Public schools are an especially an area of concern regarding gender indoctrination.
Richard presents a practical solution with the three-pronged education approach of abstinence-centered classroom education, peer counseling by abstinent peers, and STAR (Students Teaching Abstinence and Responsibility) leadership clubs.
In the show:
https://www.urbanlifetraining.org
